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The gift:

To make a gift is to give something to someone without compensation, (without commercial exchange in particular).

To make a gift is an exceptional act, one does not make a gift to just anyone and without reason. The gift expresses the interest that we show for someone, it can express a feeling (love, friendship, gratitude…), hence the importance of the choice of gift (we do not offer just anything to just anyone…), and the possible disappointment if the gift does not please.

Ideally, the gift is made without any ulterior motive, but the gift can also be “interested”, making the recipient the “debtor” of the giver, in the hope of a return, a “return of the favour”.

The gift also has a social dimension. It is made in particular circumstances of the social life: birth, birthday, wedding…

To please :

The expression is immediately placed within the framework of the relationship. The relationship between “something” that causes pleasure (a stimulus), and someone to whom it pleases.

In the case of a gift, the relationship is more complex because the gift is made by someone. So what is pleasing then? The gift, or the fact that one is someone to whom the giver is willing to give a gift?

If we look at it from the donor’s point of view: “to please” is to try to provoke pleasure in the recipient. You have to put yourself “in the place” of the recipient, to be close to what he likes and to his tastes.

When we succeed, we then also experience a form of pleasure, that of success. Conversely, to give a gift is to take the risk of making a mistake, of being placed in front of one’s limits, and of being disappointed. Hence, for the one who receives, the subtle game that will consist in not disappointing the one who offers, to sometimes simulate the pleasure…

This game, full of nuances, is made up of postulates about what the other person may think or feel, hence the interest in starting to think about it with young children, who find it difficult to get off-center…